HYPERLOVE #PSYCHO MECHANISMS


< PRE-DRAFT >



    "He observed that embracing our freedom of will was healthy, whereas escaping freedom through the use of escape mechanisms was the root of psychological conflicts."
--Wiki🔗Erich_Fromm


Updated:
    2017-10-21 new, v0.1
    2018-06-23 imported and redone, v0.5



Legend

CONCEPT or MECHANIC CONCEPT or MECHANIC is a SOLUTION is a SOLUTION a STATE a STATE is a SITUATION is a SITUATION statement (''something happens) statement (''something happens)




Graph
defer->let go let go->SITUATION uh huh->manipulation uh huh->flee uh huh->naughty manipulation->lying by omission manipulation->misleading manipulation->victim playing flee->defer flee->disagreement flee->silent treatment (sulking) flee->one-sided flee->evasion naughty->provocation hunger->(someone is in a shit mood) (someone is in a shit mood)->naughty (someone is in a shit mood)->disagreement undersleeping->(someone is in a shit mood) AGREE TO DISAGREE->let go 'the point wasn't to argue, but just to state another interesting point, which i can accept, there is no consequence out of this'->not worth it not worth it->AGREE TO DISAGREE trust fails->bet on trust bet on trust->trust fails bet on trust->trust works out (intensification)->SITUATION SITUATION->(intensification) SITUATION->SITUATION SITUATION->SITUATION SITUATION->SITUATION SITUATION->SITUATION SITUATION->{{SITUATIONS}} SITUATION->{{SITUATIONS}} SITUATION->{{SITUATIONS}} SITUATION->SOLUTION {{SITUATIONS}}->defer {{SITUATIONS}}->manipulation {{SITUATIONS}}->naughty {{SITUATIONS}}->exhaustion {{SITUATIONS}}->misunderstanding {{SITUATIONS}}->disagreement {{SITUATIONS}}->lack of attention {{SITUATIONS}}->fears {{SITUATIONS}}->breaking agreements {{SITUATIONS}}->unequal standing {{SITUATIONS}}->compounding repetition {{SITUATIONS}}->lack of reciprocity {{SITUATIONS}}->understanding of gravity not shared exhaustion->sex advanced hermeneutic problems->misunderstanding advanced hermeneutic problems->'what i say and what you hear may be 2 different things, and are 100% up to you' trust works out->bet on trust not detected as misunderstanding, so not communicated->coincidence coincidence->misunderstanding (unclear what it was)->misunderstanding SOLUTION->SOLUTION SOLUTION->SOLUTION SOLUTION->SOLUTION SOLUTION->SOLUTION SOLUTION->ALL OKAY SOLUTION->{{SOLUTIONS}} SOLUTION->{{SOLUTIONS}} SOLUTION->{{SOLUTIONS}} (unclear how important it was)->misunderstanding (unclear how important it was)->lack of attention lack of attention->real lack of attention->imagined sex->let go sex->fears sex->'sex is a safe space where everything is possible lol' (simply not caring)->naughty external events->(someone is in a shit mood) mishearing->coincidence problem, that was not immediately raised or talked through->misunderstanding ALL OKAY->SITUATION lack of common language->misunderstanding lack of common language->(COMMON LANGUAGE) ignore->disagreement monthly cycles->(someone is in a shit mood) try to reach agreement->(agreement works) try to reach agreement->(agreement fails NOW) try to reach agreement->breaking agreements (agreement works)->ACCEPT AND ADOPT A SINGLE POINT (agreement works)->TRANSCENDENTAL UNDERSTANDING (agreement fails NOW)->understanding of gravity not shared breaking agreements->(unclear what it was) breaking agreements->(unclear how important it was) breaking agreements->(simply not caring) escalate / get more angry->disagreement passive agression (don't give a clear idea, if you confirm your mistake and right of other)->ignore {{SOLUTIONS}}->let go {{SOLUTIONS}}->bet on trust {{SOLUTIONS}}->sex {{SOLUTIONS}}->try to reach agreement {{SOLUTIONS}}->mark+strikes {{SOLUTIONS}}->apology establish general understanding of Language Logics mechanics->(COMMON LANGUAGE) synchronize mutual vocabulary (Language Logic °3)->(COMMON LANGUAGE) unequal standing->'we can only be comrades if we share the same dangers' lack of reciprocity->lack of care lack of reciprocity->lack of thought understanding of gravity not shared->'I accepted your point, but you keep repeating what you said and don't want to end it' imagined->fears 'uh huh'->(to keep the privilege / whimsicality open) victim playing->proxy abuse mark+strikes->let go mark+strikes->try to reach agreement dehistoricize words (Language Logic °2)->(COMMON LANGUAGE) apology->try to reach agreement apology->'I did X, I understand it is problematic, I will aim to not repeat this' ACCEPT AND ADOPT A SINGLE POINT->synchronize mutual vocabulary (Language Logic °3) ACCEPT AND ADOPT A SINGLE POINT->dehistoricize words (Language Logic °2) ACCEPT AND ADOPT A SINGLE POINT->abstract words, follow word roots (Language Logic °1) TRANSCENDENTAL UNDERSTANDING->establish general understanding of Language Logics mechanics defer defer let go let go uh huh uh huh manipulation manipulation flee flee naughty naughty hunger hunger (someone is in a shit mood) (someone is in a shit mood) undersleeping undersleeping AGREE TO DISAGREE AGREE TO DISAGREE 'the point wasn't to argue, but just to state another interesting point, which i can accept, there is no consequence out of this' 'the point wasn't to argue, but just to state another interesting point, which i can accept, there is no consequence out of this' not worth it not worth it trust fails trust fails bet on trust bet on trust (intensification) (intensification) SITUATION SITUATION exhaustion exhaustion advanced hermeneutic problems advanced hermeneutic problems misunderstanding misunderstanding trust works out trust works out not detected as misunderstanding, so not communicated not detected as misunderstanding, so not communicated coincidence coincidence (unclear what it was) (unclear what it was) SOLUTION SOLUTION disagreement disagreement (unclear how important it was) (unclear how important it was) lack of attention lack of attention sex sex fears fears (simply not caring) (simply not caring) external events external events mishearing mishearing problem, that was not immediately raised or talked through problem, that was not immediately raised or talked through ALL OKAY ALL OKAY lack of common language lack of common language ignore ignore monthly cycles monthly cycles try to reach agreement try to reach agreement (agreement works) (agreement works) (agreement fails NOW) (agreement fails NOW) breaking agreements breaking agreements escalate / get more angry escalate / get more angry passive agression (don't give a clear idea, if you confirm your mistake and right of other) passive agression (don't give a clear idea, if you confirm your mistake and right of other) establish general understanding of Language Logics mechanics establish general understanding of Language Logics mechanics (COMMON LANGUAGE) (COMMON LANGUAGE) synchronize mutual vocabulary (Language Logic °3) synchronize mutual vocabulary (Language Logic °3) unequal standing unequal standing 'we can only be comrades if we share the same dangers' 'we can only be comrades if we share the same dangers' compounding repetition compounding repetition lack of reciprocity lack of reciprocity understanding of gravity not shared understanding of gravity not shared real real imagined imagined 'what i say and what you hear may be 2 different things, and are 100% up to you' 'what i say and what you hear may be 2 different things, and are 100% up to you' 'uh huh' 'uh huh' (to keep the privilege / whimsicality open) (to keep the privilege / whimsicality open) lying by omission lying by omission misleading misleading victim playing victim playing mark+strikes mark+strikes silent treatment (sulking) silent treatment (sulking) one-sided one-sided evasion evasion dehistoricize words (Language Logic °2) dehistoricize words (Language Logic °2) apology apology 'I did X, I understand it is problematic, I will aim to not repeat this' 'I did X, I understand it is problematic, I will aim to not repeat this' 'sex is a safe space where everything is possible lol' 'sex is a safe space where everything is possible lol' provocation provocation proxy abuse proxy abuse 'I accepted your point, but you keep repeating what you said and don't want to end it' 'I accepted your point, but you keep repeating what you said and don't want to end it' ACCEPT AND ADOPT A SINGLE POINT ACCEPT AND ADOPT A SINGLE POINT abstract words, follow word roots (Language Logic °1) abstract words, follow word roots (Language Logic °1) TRANSCENDENTAL UNDERSTANDING TRANSCENDENTAL UNDERSTANDING lack of care lack of care lack of thought lack of thought






How to use?

Ideas for use:
    * follow this in a "Situation"
    * point out most common mechanisms
    * point out under-used mechanisms:
        (david - "let it go"?? d's ex: "trust loop"?, ...)
    * [...]

Some key concepts:
    * situatin gravity:
        assigning different weights to seriousness of situation
    * effort-fitting:
        every situation-making is an effort, and takes counter effort
        the superseeding apology-effort must overcome it
    * dealing with repetitions:
        detecting repetitions (and loops) is crucial
        takes a stronger reaction - positive or negative!
    * [...]





NEXT / TODO

Follow real struggles:
    * LFT !!!!!!
    * ask partners: how to solve?
    * better direct connections:
        WOULD NEED EDGETYPES !!! #gliagraph
    * merge other cases!
    * [...]

Missing:
    * break-up / dis-associate
    * [...] <--------------------------------- (new)


*** PAD

Done with:
    eva, tjaša, klara, pau, ...




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